With my 29th birthday just around the corner, I’ve got just enough experience to feel comfortable and confident answering this question. The 20’s are a hectic time when we finish college, start working, live by ourselves, and live away from our parents. It’s a confusing time when one transitions into adulthood and time seems to literally fly past.
Here are some habits that I find worth talking about here for everyone:
1. Dating without intention - If you’re with someone just for the sex, their money, or status, bail. Relationships should be taken seriously with the intention to commit long-term unless, of course, things fall apart (which they typically do). Far too often I’ve seen friends get hurt or hurt someone else due to selfish intentions. Everything has a purpose, so if you can’t see yourself marrying someone it’s best to end the relationship. Most people engage in sex before their 20’s. Casual sex is bad for your soul. I’m sure there are a lot of people that would disagree with that comment, but there’s something precious and sacred about making love that gets lost when one engages in “having sex” or “hooking up.” You know what ruins your 20’s? Having an unplanned pregnancy at 22 or getting a life changing STD. And the one that most people overlook is developing ungodly soul ties with someone. It’s not worth the heartache.
2. Drinking - I’m all for having a good time. Go out. Dance. Laugh. Make a fool of yourself. It’s healthy. But when it becomes a three-night-a-week-ritual, some self-examination is needed. Not only that, but think of all the money that you just flush down the drain buying alcohol.
3. Drug use - It may start off occasionally, but addiction towards any substance is one of the HARDEST things to get rid of. Not to mention it does your body tremendous long-term damage. It can also ruin dreams, job opportunities, and relationships with people.
4. Eating everything - You can eat all the pizza, burgers, and candy you want now, but sooner of later your metabolism will slow down. Are you sure you want to put on that extra 30 or 40 pounds? Not only does it affect your physical appearance, but can lead to a variety of health problems and even self esteem problems. Have a healthy, balanced diet and don’t fill up on junk food. Don’t eat takeout everyday! Cook your food, eat healthy, and save money.
5. Sleep deprivation - For some odd reason busyness is glorified in our society. So often I’ve heard people brag that they’ve only slept 2 hours in the past few days. I have to catch myself at times doing this a lot. How about we start bragging about sleeping for 8 hours a night? It’d be much more encouraging to have a healthy society rather than having a bunch of zombies walking around on edge. Would you like to be driving down the interstate with a bunch of people running off 2 hours of sleep? Lack of sleep makes you look older, feel older, and less aware in your daily activities.
5. Using plastic - This is a huge problem. So often I’ll shop using my debit card totally unaware of the balance in my account until the card gets declined or I get hit with an overdraft fee. I understand that it’s much easier to swipe a card than pull out cash for your $36 tab. Yet, studies show us that we spend LESS when we use cash. It’s so easy for people to use their credit card without consciously considering the implications of their purchase. If you’ve got the money that’s one thing, but regularly spending money you don’t have is a dangerous habit to develop.
6. Minimal physical activity - Exercise has more benefits than anything else in life (that involves clothes). Not only does it help you physically, but it benefits you spiritually and mentally. It’s helped me tremendously in overcoming depression/anxiety. Neglecting this potential opportunity for growth and health maintenance would be regrettable. We look down on jobs that require a lot of physical labor, but these jobs are great for keeping us in great physical condition without having to set aside additional time to go to a gym/workout. Whether you do a physically demanding job or not, make it a priority to exercise. Never underestimate the value of exercising.
7. Entitlement - It amazes me how we live in such a microwave society. No one wants to sacrifice. In fact, that’s not even in most people’s vocabulary. I know the common narrative for us millennials. We all feel special. As soon as we graduate college we feel like we should have the $300,000 house, $100,000 car, and exclusive wardrobe that we’ve always longed for. Well life doesn’t work that way. Some of these things take years of saving and planning to gain. There are people in their 40’s that don’t have these things yet, so why do we feel like we deserve them already? The 20’s do seem to be a time period where we may be worthy of more than we receive: more pay, more vacation, more attention, more benefits, more freedom, a better title? But having this mindset is not the right way to approach life. Instead, we should strive to provide more value than we receive so that one day perhaps we receive more value than we bestow. Don’t run behind money thinking it will solve all of your problems because it won’t.
8. Working too hard - it’s true, we all seem to be chasing something. More money, higher status, the plush corner office, you name it. I see so many people trading countless hours of their lives to buy stuff they don’t want or impress people they really don’t like. End this madness. Invest in yourself. Take a break. Go on a vacation. Spend time with family. Life is too short! Even though we’re working to get ourselves set up for life, we also have to be balanced in life. Too much work and not enough play will make Johnny/Sally a dull boy/girl.
9. Save Money - If it’s only $10 a month, we all need to save. Never borrow money and try to be as independent as possible. Live a lifestyle compatible with your earnings, and consider saving / investing for your future. Get hold of a good consultant and start to invest wisely on stocks, bonds, treasury bills etc.
10. Impressing others - Don’t try to compare yourself with others. Just because someone is farther along than you or seems farther along, don’t begin to look down or doubt yourself. Trust YOUR process. No one has it all together no matter how much it make look like it on the outside. Focus on yourself and the goals that you make. Dress well for yourself, buy stuff for yourself. Don’t buy stuff to show off your class, your money, or your well-being. Do not be afraid to stay true to yourself. Seek wise advice, but do what makes sense to you. Don’t worry about what others say as long as your actions aren’t hurting anyone. At the end of the day you have to feel good about what you’ve done and how far you’ve progressed.
11. Neglecting your personal development - Read books (definitely the Bible), attend seminars, listen to podcasts, and work on your character. Don’t become so focused on material things that you neglect your inner being. After all, having a heart for Christ is the most valuable thing that you can gain. Strive to grow academically/technically as well. Learn a different trade and consider doing a side job for extra income. Or at the least know how to do something that will generate income besides your primary occupation. Not many people stay on one job for 20-30 years anymore. Don’t be afraid to venture out and gain skills that will benefit you in a possible career change.
12. Focusing too much on yourself - Loving yourself too much that you forget that other lives matter too is a bad mindset to have. It is fine to love yourself but there is a reason the word "narcissistic" was invented/derived. God put us here to love one another and serve one another. This life isn’t all about you and you won’t make it very far thinking that you’re the only person that matters.
Being in your 20’s is a lot like being in your teens, only with a lot more freedom and no parental control. You can go and do stuff you had only fantasized about as a teenager. Go out, stay up, drink. have sex, etc, etc. And you aren’t contained by energy, responsibilities, or relationships. Many people waste their 20’s in that way and use that vast potential for their own personal gratification. However, time doesn’t stop only because you don’t have responsibilities. People in their 20’s get in the habit of thinking that. Many people postpone important decisions. Finding the right partner, getting an education, starting a career, beginning a family, are all things people in their 20’s think can start in their 30’s. But what if they want to do more than one of those things? It’s often not possible and always much harder if you lost an entire decade of your life. So don’t do it! Don’t fool yourself into thinking that your 20’s are for wasting time. Set the grounds for the rest of your life as soon as possible and reap the rewards. Nobody thinks on their deathbed “I wish I had wasted my time with pointless actions.”
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