What inspired me to write this blog is my belief that men
have to start holding each other accountable. A man is more likely to listen to
another man giving him advice on being a man than he is a woman. How can I tell
a woman what it’s like to deal with pregnancy difficulties or with a cycle if
those are things that I’m limited in knowledge in. Sure I can give advice on those
areas, but it won’t be the same as if a woman advised a woman about them. I get
tired of hearing women say what a man is/isn’t supposed to do. Some of them are
spot on in their assessments, but I believe a man would have no choice but to
accept the criticism of another man telling him the same things. That’s just
something that I think would make men more responsive to changing. I know pride
can get in the way a lot of the time when someone tells us something, but we
have to be able to stop sometimes, listen, and consider what someone is telling
us.
Everything rises and falls with leadership. In Moses's day and in Jesus' day, they killed all the males because they wanted to control what was happening in a community of people among the Jews. So what the enemy is doing is trying to get rid of the males psychologically, emotionally, and functionally, and that's what culture is currently doing. Then, you're on the precipice of disaster as a community. A relationship with God is the foundation of man. A man is defined biblically as a male who has learned to submit his maleness to the lordship of Jesus Christ. Man was created to have a relationship with God. God gave man rules and responsibilities. The first thing that God gave Adam was responsibility. He was instructed to tend and keep the garden before Eve was created. That tells us that the first thing that a man must be doing before he can lead anyone is fulfilling His purpose of serving and obeying God. There are many characteristics that define a man throughout the Bible and tell what a man should be, but the one I want to highlight is RESPONSIBILITY. Man must first show His commitment to serving God, and only then can he serve and commit to a woman and his family. In biblical times the tradition of "giving away" the bride at a wedding signified that the bride's family will no longer have control over her or her possessions (dowry) and that her husband will respectfully take on the responsibilities and obligations that her father once boasted. The same holds true today in that when a whether a woman is married or single, a man is responsible for her well-being.
It’s interesting that, there really is no Proverbs 31 for men in the Bible. Men need the whole Bible, women need a chapter. In Ephesians, God tells the husband to love His wife like Christ loves the Church. Christ’s love is shown throughout the Bible, which means a man’s duties far outweigh a woman’s. Husbands should not be in the marriage first and foremost to get their needs met, but rather they should first look out for the interests and needs of their wives. A husband’s love should be characterized by sacrifice for the good of his wife. God has commanded us to love our wives even when they don’t deserve it—for if we love them only when they deserve it, where would grace be? In fact, we need to love our wives the most when they deserve it the least. Women should feel safe with a man. They should know that he’s going to take care of the house, cars, help with the children, and plan for the family's future. He bears all the burdens and takes full responsibility for direction of his wife and children.
Some people want to be in charge but aren’t ready to handle that. You want to own your own company, but are you ready to hire and fire people, make sure the company meets all safety regulations, be prepared if someone wants to sue the company? You want to be a man and lead a woman, but do you make it a priority to lead your family spiritually, teach your wife and children things about Christ they have questions about, plan for emergency situations, have a logical solution when your family wants to react emotionally, and address literally thousands of other issues that affect families? Are you a planner? Because a leader’s job is never really done. A leader deals with things behind the scenes and puts themselves last. A leader stays late to get the job done when the other employees go home. A leader doesn’t eat until after everyone else does. A leader puts themselves last and inconveniences themselves to make sure those he serves has their needs met. Being a man is a lot of work, and from my observation I see many take it lightly or are misinformed about what it means to be a man. Recently I read an article about problems affecting husbands and fathers. So much of our attention has been captured by society that we aren’t there for our family. Whether it be TV, work, sports, hunting, or a million other things, as a whole we’re neglecting our main responsibility. When you look at the problems in society the source lies in male leadership or lack thereof. In Tony Evans book “Kingdom Man”, he highlights the importance of a man's impact on society. He summed it up as, “Satan is determined to undermine men, destroy their God-given roles, and re-define the biblical definition of manhood because he wants to see the family unravel and society crumble.” Every other institution in society is built on the family. If the family disintegrates, those institutions that depend on strong families will disintegrate as well. Once that happens, there is no law you can pass that will make up for the devastation. There is no program you can institute that will fix what happens to people when a home is shattered. There is no politician you can elect who can bring harmony and social order when the family is decimated. So the large number of people in jail, broken families, children who grow up lacking skills needed to succeed in life, all fall back on men neglecting their responsibility. What we’re seeing, and will continue to see, is the decimation of the family, because the man is the foundation of the family, and the family is the foundation of society. So, if we want to unravel the family and society, the best way is to get rid of men fulfilling their roles. A woman who wants to be the head of her home invites the Devil to take over her family. And the Devil has taken over many homes because the wife has refused to submit to the legitimate, biblical authority of her husband, or has a husband who neglects his leadership duties. The result is spiritual sickness and dysfunction. Not because women aren't great, but you've asked them to do more than what they were created to do. So, getting back to the right view of marriage and a right view of family is critical, and that starts with the right view of man. The secular world is confused about the true definition of manhood. Popular terms like “toxic masculinity,” is society's attempt to understand and define the present, poor state of manhood. There are two sides to this. One is people feeling that men have been oppressive to women, and to some degree, that’s true. It’s women wanting to break free from the toxic effect of that negative pressure. But then on the other side is men having been given the wrong information about manhood from the television, from the media, from music, so that they're doing the best that they know how to do. So we've got to give them new knowledge and new definitions. We're going to have to ask the opposite sex to encourage that right definition rather than throwing out the good with the bad.
The value of headship in the home is also not about ownership or about the level of a salary, but that the husband does work hard at providing. Wisdom in leading the home under God is the man's primary responsibility. If your wife has a higher capacity, you have to act like the leader of a team, even though one of your teammates has an advantage. Many women have the misconception that a man is defined by how much money he makes. Sometimes I hear women talk about how much money a man makes and feel like they’re settling if they choose someone who makes less than them. I believe a lot of women who are doctors, lawyers, and highly paid professionals miss out on great men because they aren’t on their “level” financially. Well I have news for you, a God-fearing man making $30,000 fulfilling his purpose in life is much more valuable than a millionaire who isn’t. There's a difference in someone who lacks ambition and someone who's doing what their passionate about with limited earning potential. The reality is that not everyone will have a career that affords them to live a lavish life, but I do believe if they are doing what God called them to then they will prosper and He will meet all of their needs. It’s better to have a man who makes $30K and can lead you spiritually than one who makes $100K and can’t even tell you one scripture. I've come to learn that it's not how much you make, but how you manage it. A man is a good manager of whatever amount he makes. In the words of my pastor, “They can have a nice car, nice house, 401K, closet full of expensive clothes, etc., but if they don’t have Christ you ain’t got yourself NOTHING!” A wise man who makes less than his wife will manage what they have and lead the family. After all, neither spouse has ownership of their salary because what each has belongs to the other. You two are ONE. We're also called to be good stewards of all that God has given us.
How will my child learn about sex, paying taxes, how to act when pulled over by the police? Do you teach your children work ethic? Do they know how to be an informed citizen and know what’s going on in their community? These and a million other questions are the responsibility of the man. Most men fail to be proactive and end up being reactive when problems arise. I remember growing up working with my dad and all the many conversations we had about life that I’m so thankful for today. In my experience as a teacher and relationships with friends, I see how so many people weren’t afforded those same life lessons that I was. Either their dad wasn’t in their life or he didn’t teach them some of the lessons that I was fortunate to learn. He prepared me for the days ahead. This emphasizes the importance of the male in the family. One of his responsibilities is to prepare his family to live in his absence. Proverbs 4 tells us how crucial a father’s wisdom is. Wisdom is more valuable than any material thing you can give a child. I feel that my father prepared me for so many things in life. Life after college didn’t stress me out as much as it did some people struggling to adjust to adult life because I was prepared for it. My dad instilled in me that mindset of being responsible and planning for the future. Men have to be better planners. Your family is depending on your foresight. People dedicate more time and planning for their vocations than they do their families. If you open a business aren’t you going to plan? You get insurance to protect from loss, advertise to get more business, assess the market for expansion, have rules and regulations in place, and so much more. You create a whole handbook for a multitude of situations. Or if you plan a vacation, do you create an itinerary or do you just wing it? So many men aren’t doing that with their family. What are you going to do in an unfortunate situation? This requires thinking and planning. Your family is the most important business that you’ll ever run and you have to be ready to solve a problem at a moment’s notice. Will you be ready to? Learn from men who are wiser than you. It’ll help you prepare for when hardships or problems arise.
I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. 1 Timothy:1-2
This verse was meant to be applied to government, but can be applied to every family as well. Wives should pray for husbands to lead and make wise choices in leading the family just like we should pray for the president to lead our nation wisely. I was talking with a coworker who is having behavior problems with his teenage soon. Not only is he having problems with his son’s behavior, but disciplining him as well. He stated that every form of discipline that he enforces, his wife will go behind his back and do the opposite. It’s impossible for a man to lead and a family to be successful if both people aren’t on one accord. One thing that I think a lot of marriages lack is respect and trust. It’s easier for some women to respect their boss than their husband. On a job rarely will you not obey your boss’s orders no matter how much you disagree, but when it comes to a man making decisions with his family he’s often not given that same respect. People won’t always agree with the decisions that leadership makes, but that’s where you’re left to pray. God has chosen to let us help Him change the world through our prayers. How this works is a mystery to us because of our limited understanding, but it is a reality. God is the head of the man, and man is the head of woman. They all must submit to one another, even when they don’t like the decision being made. Leading is a hard job, and you won’t always lead perfectly. But those you lead should pray that you lead them correctly and grant you grace when you fall short. People have this concept down when it comes to work, but not in the home. If your boss gives you orders or if a coach on a team calls a play and their choice doesn’t yield a favorable outcome, it falls on the leadership. But if you rebel and go about it your own way, the leader is likely to become upset. It’s the same with God. If you obey His commands you’re protected by Him. But when you step outside of His Will you open yourself up to punishment. The same way Jesus had to submit to God the Father, every man has to submit to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. So what he's asking his wife, he should be modeling himself. The problem is, a lot of men who don't submit want to demand submission, and that creates a problem. But for the man who is submitted to God, I pray that his wife will submit to him and trust his ability to meet her needs.
Lord, I pray that you make more men accept their role as leaders. First and foremost, I pray that they develop a genuine relationship with you and Your Word guides them as well as placing wise elders in their lives to give them advice and correction. With great power comes great responsibility. Let them take their responsibilities seriously and give thoughtful planning to the direction of their family. I pray that men won’t abuse our headship, but use it to benefit and serve those you’ve entrusted us to oversee. Help us fix so many problems that are caused in the world due to men not being present and active in their families, communities, and their nations. Let us not take the title of man lightly. Let your word define what it means to be a man and not society. Help us to esteem being a man as highly as being called a president, CEO, Dr. , or any other title that the world tells us is important. We are Kings created to worship You and sacrifice for our Queens and lead our seeds. With faith I believe that You have given us Your Word because You know what’s best for us and You love us dearly. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
Everything rises and falls with leadership. In Moses's day and in Jesus' day, they killed all the males because they wanted to control what was happening in a community of people among the Jews. So what the enemy is doing is trying to get rid of the males psychologically, emotionally, and functionally, and that's what culture is currently doing. Then, you're on the precipice of disaster as a community. A relationship with God is the foundation of man. A man is defined biblically as a male who has learned to submit his maleness to the lordship of Jesus Christ. Man was created to have a relationship with God. God gave man rules and responsibilities. The first thing that God gave Adam was responsibility. He was instructed to tend and keep the garden before Eve was created. That tells us that the first thing that a man must be doing before he can lead anyone is fulfilling His purpose of serving and obeying God. There are many characteristics that define a man throughout the Bible and tell what a man should be, but the one I want to highlight is RESPONSIBILITY. Man must first show His commitment to serving God, and only then can he serve and commit to a woman and his family. In biblical times the tradition of "giving away" the bride at a wedding signified that the bride's family will no longer have control over her or her possessions (dowry) and that her husband will respectfully take on the responsibilities and obligations that her father once boasted. The same holds true today in that when a whether a woman is married or single, a man is responsible for her well-being.
It’s interesting that, there really is no Proverbs 31 for men in the Bible. Men need the whole Bible, women need a chapter. In Ephesians, God tells the husband to love His wife like Christ loves the Church. Christ’s love is shown throughout the Bible, which means a man’s duties far outweigh a woman’s. Husbands should not be in the marriage first and foremost to get their needs met, but rather they should first look out for the interests and needs of their wives. A husband’s love should be characterized by sacrifice for the good of his wife. God has commanded us to love our wives even when they don’t deserve it—for if we love them only when they deserve it, where would grace be? In fact, we need to love our wives the most when they deserve it the least. Women should feel safe with a man. They should know that he’s going to take care of the house, cars, help with the children, and plan for the family's future. He bears all the burdens and takes full responsibility for direction of his wife and children.
Some people want to be in charge but aren’t ready to handle that. You want to own your own company, but are you ready to hire and fire people, make sure the company meets all safety regulations, be prepared if someone wants to sue the company? You want to be a man and lead a woman, but do you make it a priority to lead your family spiritually, teach your wife and children things about Christ they have questions about, plan for emergency situations, have a logical solution when your family wants to react emotionally, and address literally thousands of other issues that affect families? Are you a planner? Because a leader’s job is never really done. A leader deals with things behind the scenes and puts themselves last. A leader stays late to get the job done when the other employees go home. A leader doesn’t eat until after everyone else does. A leader puts themselves last and inconveniences themselves to make sure those he serves has their needs met. Being a man is a lot of work, and from my observation I see many take it lightly or are misinformed about what it means to be a man. Recently I read an article about problems affecting husbands and fathers. So much of our attention has been captured by society that we aren’t there for our family. Whether it be TV, work, sports, hunting, or a million other things, as a whole we’re neglecting our main responsibility. When you look at the problems in society the source lies in male leadership or lack thereof. In Tony Evans book “Kingdom Man”, he highlights the importance of a man's impact on society. He summed it up as, “Satan is determined to undermine men, destroy their God-given roles, and re-define the biblical definition of manhood because he wants to see the family unravel and society crumble.” Every other institution in society is built on the family. If the family disintegrates, those institutions that depend on strong families will disintegrate as well. Once that happens, there is no law you can pass that will make up for the devastation. There is no program you can institute that will fix what happens to people when a home is shattered. There is no politician you can elect who can bring harmony and social order when the family is decimated. So the large number of people in jail, broken families, children who grow up lacking skills needed to succeed in life, all fall back on men neglecting their responsibility. What we’re seeing, and will continue to see, is the decimation of the family, because the man is the foundation of the family, and the family is the foundation of society. So, if we want to unravel the family and society, the best way is to get rid of men fulfilling their roles. A woman who wants to be the head of her home invites the Devil to take over her family. And the Devil has taken over many homes because the wife has refused to submit to the legitimate, biblical authority of her husband, or has a husband who neglects his leadership duties. The result is spiritual sickness and dysfunction. Not because women aren't great, but you've asked them to do more than what they were created to do. So, getting back to the right view of marriage and a right view of family is critical, and that starts with the right view of man. The secular world is confused about the true definition of manhood. Popular terms like “toxic masculinity,” is society's attempt to understand and define the present, poor state of manhood. There are two sides to this. One is people feeling that men have been oppressive to women, and to some degree, that’s true. It’s women wanting to break free from the toxic effect of that negative pressure. But then on the other side is men having been given the wrong information about manhood from the television, from the media, from music, so that they're doing the best that they know how to do. So we've got to give them new knowledge and new definitions. We're going to have to ask the opposite sex to encourage that right definition rather than throwing out the good with the bad.
The value of headship in the home is also not about ownership or about the level of a salary, but that the husband does work hard at providing. Wisdom in leading the home under God is the man's primary responsibility. If your wife has a higher capacity, you have to act like the leader of a team, even though one of your teammates has an advantage. Many women have the misconception that a man is defined by how much money he makes. Sometimes I hear women talk about how much money a man makes and feel like they’re settling if they choose someone who makes less than them. I believe a lot of women who are doctors, lawyers, and highly paid professionals miss out on great men because they aren’t on their “level” financially. Well I have news for you, a God-fearing man making $30,000 fulfilling his purpose in life is much more valuable than a millionaire who isn’t. There's a difference in someone who lacks ambition and someone who's doing what their passionate about with limited earning potential. The reality is that not everyone will have a career that affords them to live a lavish life, but I do believe if they are doing what God called them to then they will prosper and He will meet all of their needs. It’s better to have a man who makes $30K and can lead you spiritually than one who makes $100K and can’t even tell you one scripture. I've come to learn that it's not how much you make, but how you manage it. A man is a good manager of whatever amount he makes. In the words of my pastor, “They can have a nice car, nice house, 401K, closet full of expensive clothes, etc., but if they don’t have Christ you ain’t got yourself NOTHING!” A wise man who makes less than his wife will manage what they have and lead the family. After all, neither spouse has ownership of their salary because what each has belongs to the other. You two are ONE. We're also called to be good stewards of all that God has given us.
How will my child learn about sex, paying taxes, how to act when pulled over by the police? Do you teach your children work ethic? Do they know how to be an informed citizen and know what’s going on in their community? These and a million other questions are the responsibility of the man. Most men fail to be proactive and end up being reactive when problems arise. I remember growing up working with my dad and all the many conversations we had about life that I’m so thankful for today. In my experience as a teacher and relationships with friends, I see how so many people weren’t afforded those same life lessons that I was. Either their dad wasn’t in their life or he didn’t teach them some of the lessons that I was fortunate to learn. He prepared me for the days ahead. This emphasizes the importance of the male in the family. One of his responsibilities is to prepare his family to live in his absence. Proverbs 4 tells us how crucial a father’s wisdom is. Wisdom is more valuable than any material thing you can give a child. I feel that my father prepared me for so many things in life. Life after college didn’t stress me out as much as it did some people struggling to adjust to adult life because I was prepared for it. My dad instilled in me that mindset of being responsible and planning for the future. Men have to be better planners. Your family is depending on your foresight. People dedicate more time and planning for their vocations than they do their families. If you open a business aren’t you going to plan? You get insurance to protect from loss, advertise to get more business, assess the market for expansion, have rules and regulations in place, and so much more. You create a whole handbook for a multitude of situations. Or if you plan a vacation, do you create an itinerary or do you just wing it? So many men aren’t doing that with their family. What are you going to do in an unfortunate situation? This requires thinking and planning. Your family is the most important business that you’ll ever run and you have to be ready to solve a problem at a moment’s notice. Will you be ready to? Learn from men who are wiser than you. It’ll help you prepare for when hardships or problems arise.
I urge you, first of all, to pray for all people. Ask God to help them; intercede on their behalf, and give thanks for them. Pray this way for kings and all who are in authority so that we can live peaceful and quiet lives marked by godliness and dignity. 1 Timothy:1-2
This verse was meant to be applied to government, but can be applied to every family as well. Wives should pray for husbands to lead and make wise choices in leading the family just like we should pray for the president to lead our nation wisely. I was talking with a coworker who is having behavior problems with his teenage soon. Not only is he having problems with his son’s behavior, but disciplining him as well. He stated that every form of discipline that he enforces, his wife will go behind his back and do the opposite. It’s impossible for a man to lead and a family to be successful if both people aren’t on one accord. One thing that I think a lot of marriages lack is respect and trust. It’s easier for some women to respect their boss than their husband. On a job rarely will you not obey your boss’s orders no matter how much you disagree, but when it comes to a man making decisions with his family he’s often not given that same respect. People won’t always agree with the decisions that leadership makes, but that’s where you’re left to pray. God has chosen to let us help Him change the world through our prayers. How this works is a mystery to us because of our limited understanding, but it is a reality. God is the head of the man, and man is the head of woman. They all must submit to one another, even when they don’t like the decision being made. Leading is a hard job, and you won’t always lead perfectly. But those you lead should pray that you lead them correctly and grant you grace when you fall short. People have this concept down when it comes to work, but not in the home. If your boss gives you orders or if a coach on a team calls a play and their choice doesn’t yield a favorable outcome, it falls on the leadership. But if you rebel and go about it your own way, the leader is likely to become upset. It’s the same with God. If you obey His commands you’re protected by Him. But when you step outside of His Will you open yourself up to punishment. The same way Jesus had to submit to God the Father, every man has to submit to the Lordship of Jesus Christ. So what he's asking his wife, he should be modeling himself. The problem is, a lot of men who don't submit want to demand submission, and that creates a problem. But for the man who is submitted to God, I pray that his wife will submit to him and trust his ability to meet her needs.
Lord, I pray that you make more men accept their role as leaders. First and foremost, I pray that they develop a genuine relationship with you and Your Word guides them as well as placing wise elders in their lives to give them advice and correction. With great power comes great responsibility. Let them take their responsibilities seriously and give thoughtful planning to the direction of their family. I pray that men won’t abuse our headship, but use it to benefit and serve those you’ve entrusted us to oversee. Help us fix so many problems that are caused in the world due to men not being present and active in their families, communities, and their nations. Let us not take the title of man lightly. Let your word define what it means to be a man and not society. Help us to esteem being a man as highly as being called a president, CEO, Dr. , or any other title that the world tells us is important. We are Kings created to worship You and sacrifice for our Queens and lead our seeds. With faith I believe that You have given us Your Word because You know what’s best for us and You love us dearly. In Jesus name I pray, Amen.
