Dating to Courting

These are some notes that I have taken over the years from other pastors and from my own study on Christian dating. I feel that these will bless someone and give someone a better understanding of dating God's way. Marriage and relationships aren't just about people falling in love. It's about what God has for the man to do and the woman is to help him meet his objective.

1. Date with the intention of finding a partner for marriage.
-Choose a Christian
-Choose a kindred spirit
-Look for character
-Look for accomplishments

2. Ask "How can I be the one?" instead of "How can I find the one?"

Rules of Courting

These a rules of Biblical courtship. Your specific rules may differ depending on your conviction and how much temptation they may be for you.

-Takes the position that the two people have no physical contact at all until marriage.

-Many in a courtship relationship won't spend any time together unless family members, preferably parents, are present at all times.

-Courting couples state up front their intentions are to see if the other person is a suitable potential marriage partner.
-Courtship allows for the two people to truly get to know each other in a platonic setting without the pleasures of physical intimacy or emotions clouding their view.

A Relationship to Glorify God

1. STOP having sex ( 1 Corinthians 6:18).

2. Guard your heart ( Proverbs 4:23). Stop watching stupid reality TV shows, going to clubs.

3. Actions. Don't show off your body. It was bought at a price. Marriage pays for it. 

4. Tell your emotions to shut up. Control your flesh and resist intimate urges. Love God more than you love each other.

5. God has to be first. Spend daily time with Him, apply what you learned, serve in your local church, pray for your partner, forgive whoever hurt you - DO YOUR PART.

6. Spend time with God.

Scripture

Unselfish

 Let nothing be done through strife or vainglory; but in lowliness of mind let each esteem other better than themselves. Philippians 2:3

Way to treat a partner during courtship

-Rebuke not an elder, but intreat him as a father; and the younger men as brethren;

2 The elder women as mothers; the younger as sisters, with all purity. 1 Timothy 5:1-2

-and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. 1 Thessalonians 4:6

Qualities for Women to Look for in Men

Spiritual leader

and that in this matter no one should wrong or take advantage of a brother or sister. The Lord will punish all those who commit such sins, as we told you and warned you before. 1 Corinthians 14:35

1. Responsibility constitutes manhood.
2. Intelligence by gathering information from studying surroundings.
3. Can teach you the Word of God (Ephesians 5:26)

(Sorry I don't have more on qualities to look for in a man)

Things We Already Know

1. Don't be unequally yoked. ( 2 Corinthians 6:14)

2. Watch the way you dress. (1 Timothy 2:9-10)

3. Don't place yourself in a compromising situation. ( 2 Corinthians 2:11)

4. Maintain sexual purity.

A Relationship Built on God's Love

1. You love the other person for who he or she is rather than what you get from the person. (John 3:16)

2. You have Christ at the center of your relationship. (Matthew 6:33) When Jesus is at the center of all you do, your conduct will never bring you shame or regret.

3. You are waiting until marriage until any physical relationship. ( 1 Corinthians 13:4)

4. You respect the other person's feelings and wishes. ( 1 Corinthians 13:5)

5. Love seeks to serve the other person rather than be served. (Philippians 2:3-4)

Things to Look for in a Great Wife

1. Does she love God? (Ephesians 5:21)

2. Does she respect authority? (Ephesians 5:22-24; Colossians 3:18)

3. Does she believe in you? (Genesis 2:18)

4. Does she have a peaceful spirit? (Proverbs 19:13; 21:9)

•  Proverbs 31:26-31
• She doesn't need the praise of people but lets her work speak for her.
• share Christian beliefs
• makes you a better man
• trustworthy
• ambitious
• selfless
• attractive from the inside out 
• smart as in being wise, giving good advice, and can hold a conversation
• loves unconditionally
• responsible 
• if children, under control
• respectful
• gets along with your family

Preparing for Marriage

1. Spiritual Stability (Matthew 7:24-27)

2. Emotional Health (Proverbs 25:28)

3. Physical fitness (1 Timothy 4:8)

4. Financial Soundness (Luke 16:1-8)

5. Maturity ( Be responsible) (James 1:22-25)

6. Friendship Skills

7. Solving Conflict ( 1 Corinthians 13:4-7; 1 Peter 4:8)

Habits for a Happy Marriage

1. Patience

2. Ability to Listen

3. Servanthood

4. Humility

5. Character

6. Love

7. Pray together (Matthew 18:20)