I find it
strange how we’re never quite taught how to do one of the greatest things that
we can ever do on earth. Somehow our parents assume we will learn on our own.
It’s expected to come natural, as easy as walking and talking. But it doesn’t
come quite that natural. It takes dying to learn how to do it. It takes
constantly seeking His will. This supernatural thing that I’m referring to is
LOVE.
According
to the American Psychological Association, the divorce rate in America sits at
40 to 50 percent. Marriage is an institution built on love, but why are they
failing at such a large rate? Is love that disposable? Well love isn’t, but
lust is. People condition themselves to give false in dating relationships. We fall
in “love” with one another until someone makes the other person mad or cheats,
then those feelings of love are gone. I would definitely say not to put up with
cheating in a dating relationship, but many of the reasons that people break up
for while dating are for terrible reasons. We use the stage of life that should
help prepare us for marriage, but sometimes actually serves as a detriment to
our development. The world’s definition of love is so shallow only because we
don’t follow the correct example. We spend 12+ of our years in life learning so
many skills to help us prepare for life, but how much time do we spend learning
about love. On their wedding day, the beautiful bride walks down the aisle look
as beautiful as she could ever look in her white dress. Her groom anxiously
awaits her so that he can take her away. These two lovers announce their vows
to one another, confessing their undying love for each other. Then 5-6 years
later the love wilts and the marriage is dissolved. Is love really this
conditional, this temporary? For some people I wonder how do they throw those
vows away so easily. Or did they ever really know what true love was.
I bet I
could ask 10 different people what love is and get 10 different answers. But
love has one source. That one source is God. I know most of us can remember our
first “love”. We thought that were so madly in love and that the romance would
last forever. Those were the intentions until someone stopped putting in the
effort. They fell out of love. This is the first misconception we have about
love. It’s not something that you fall into, you grow into love. Most of the
reasons for failed love is due to a weak relationship with God on the behalf of
someone. We don’t love Him enough, so how can we ever love the other person?
People are
naturally born as selfish individuals. We want what we want and don’t care how
it affects others. As a child our parents have to break us from this behavior,
but they can’t take all of the selfishness out of us. That’s where we have to
play our part and seek God. All cases of failed love boil down to one thing.
They are due to selfishness. A person cheats because they let their sexual
desires get the best of them, a spouse is abusive because they are controlled
by anger, a spouse sends all of the couple’s money because they are looking at
how the things bought will make them feel. Couples fail to communicate or have
unmet expectations. No matter what the reason may be it ultimately boils down
to selfishness. The only way we can combat this is through God.
I know by
now you’re probably tired of me saying God is the answer with no explanation,
so wait no more! Let me explain. To know what love is we have to plug into the
source. We have to learn about love through studying God’s Word. God said, “If
you love me, keep my commands” ~ John 14:15. That’s the first step to losing
all selfishness. In order to love God we have to put our own desires aside.
Turn to John 3: 30-35. We must seek God’s will for guidance and allow Him to
work on us. Growing in love with God isn’t easy, but it is the only way that we
can have meaningful relationships. In doing this we won’t do what we think is
best for others, but what we know is best. I look at one of the most powerful
verses in the Bible to me, which seems to sum up the entire book to me. 37 Jesus
said unto him, Thou shalt love the Lord thy God with all thy heart, and with
all thy soul, and with all thy mind.38 This is the first
and great commandment.39 And the second is like unto it,
Thou shalt love thy neighbour as thyself.40 On these two
commandments hang all the law and the prophets ~ Matthew 22:37-40. That is
pretty much the entirety of our relationship with Christ. We must love in order
to open ourselves up to be willing to obey the commands that Christ has for us.
Without it we will only seek to gratify ourselves. This commitment must be firm
and everlasting. I know nearly everyone is familiar with John 3:16, but do we
realize how much love is shown in this verse:
16 For God so loved the world, that he gave his only
begotten Son, that whosoever believeth in him should not perish, but have
everlasting life.
In church
one Sunday, so much was revealed to me about this verse. When you dissect it,
you will begin to see an extraordinary example of what it is to love. The first
thing I notice is that God sacrificed
His only son, not someone else’s son or only one of His sons. This was his only
one. When you have only one of something you cherish it, you never want to let
it go. God did the exact opposite of what is natural and showed us selflessness. No one took Jesus. God
did it willingly. Then I look at who he gave His son up for. He gave him up for
whosoever believes in Him, so He gave his son up for a bunch of people He knew
would need Him for everlasting life. This is the only way that we could receive
everlasting life, so this tells us that love
will do whatever it takes no matter what the cost! Another thing I look at
from this verse is there is no way to repay someone for losing a child. God
created this world and everything in it, so what could we ever offer Him that
He can’t get himself. You’re right, nothing! God loves us knowing that there is
truly nothing we can do to repay him or equal His sacrifice. Love doesn’t seek a reward. God gave up His son so that we may have a chance at eternal life. Jesus
chose to die for us. He looked at
our hearts, our actions, and saw us as sick, needy, weak, sinful, blind, lost.
So when your spouse is being unlovable that’s when you should be the most
lovable towards them. Look at Matthew 5:46: ”For if ye love them which love
you, what reward have ye? do not even the publicans the same?”. Anyone can love
someone when things are going good, but how do you react when someone is
hurtful towards you? That’s the real sign of love. We have come to know love as
this euphoric feeling that comes only when a person is pleasant. We have to
have a deeper knowledge of love than that. Then we come to the famous 1
Corinthians 13:4-8. I think most of us try to sum up love with this one
passage, but as evidenced by the scriptures above that can’t be done. As a
matter of fact it would be impossible for me to write all the scriptures
pertaining to love in this short blog. The whole Bible, our whole relationship
with God is built on the principle of love. 1 John 5:3 tells us to keep His
commands. They won’t kill us or hurt us. They are here for our protection. We
obey God out of love, not fear or to get a reward. John 13: 34-35 tells us to
love one another as Jesus loved us. This doesn’t only relate to a married
couple, but this should be how we treat everyone. This doesn’t only relate to a
married couple, but this should be how we treat everyone. We should help when
it’s not a favorable situation for us, give when it hurts, and do what’s right
for the benefit of others. Just imagine if everyone was this selfless.
Friendships and relationships would last forever. Nothing can go wrong when
people always are expressing these qualities towards one another.
Before I
end, I want to go back to 1 Corinthians 13: 4-8. To truly love in this way we
have to grow in our relationship with God. Love is the greatest of all human
qualities, and we can only get it from God (1 John 4:8). It involves unselfish
service to other; to show it gives evidence that you care. Love is an action
and a choice, not simply a feeling. Only God can help us set aside our own
desires and instincts so we can love naturally and freely. I wish that all
married couples would meditate on verse 8 daily. LOVE NEVER FAILS. God’s love
for us won’t fail and our love for others shouldn’t neither. To end this
message, I hope that this touches someone’s life. It truly breaks my heart to
see couples who have spent years together separate. You not only hurt
yourselves. Most of the time children are hurt and you hurt the community as
well. The negative image that divorce and failed love portrays hurts those who
have hope in love. If a person is immature about love, they will view these
examples as the norm for how love should be. So build your marriage or dating
relationship on Christ. 1 Corinthians 3:11 gives us this:
11 For other foundation can no man lay than that is
laid, which is Jesus Christ.
- I hope you gained these key points from this post:
- Love is a sacrifice.
- Love wants the best for you.
- Love is giving.
- Love is a choice.
- We can only come to truly love by growing closer to Jesus.
- Love is selfless.
- Love doesn’t fade in bad times.
- Love is God’s greatest command for us.
- Love never fails.
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